A Perfectly Normal Sword?
by Gigas13
Summary: After examining the sword of legend in the Lhusu Mines, Vaan flips out. First fic. R&R please!


A/N: Just a warning for anyone who hasn't finished FFXII yet: this story has minor spoilers about one of the game's side quests. It's based (extremely loosely) on what happens when you examine the sword of legend after beating Gilgamesh the second time. Anyway, moving on…

Disclaimer: Gigas13 doesn't own FFXII or, in fact, anything in this story. So, moving on (again)…

**A Perfectly Normal Sword?**

The deep areas of the Lhusu mines had not been quiet today. Only a short time ago, a group of adventurers had forced their way through to the deepest area of the mines. None of the monsters knew (or really cared) what had happened, but things seemed to finally be settling down. Sadly though, the quiet didn't last long. Within minutes, the Lhusu mines were rocked by an ear-splitting shout.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PERFECTLY NORMAL?" Vaan shouted, disturbing the steelings at the mine's entrance with the sheer volume of his voice.

"Just what I said, Vaan," replied Balthier (as soon as his ears had recovered from Vaan's shout). "It looks like a perfectly normal sword of legend."

"That doesn't make any sense," Vaan complained. "Swords of legend aren't supposed to _be_ normal. That's what makes them legendary. Are you _sure_ it doesn't have any special powers?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Balthier said noncommittally. "But if it does, we probably shouldn't pick it up."

"Huh? Why not?" Vaan asked.

"You can never tell with magic swords. Some of them can pick their wielders, and they can kill those they don't want to wield them, or worse. Who knows, if the wrong person picks it up, we might all be turned into monsters, or the floor of this mine might fall out from under us, or some such."

"So we beat down Gilgamesh and his ugly green mutt for a sword we can't even use."

"That's pretty much it. Now, if nobody minds, we should probably be on our way…"

"Wait a minute, you're scared?" Vaan challenged. "I thought sky pirates weren't afraid of anything."

"Of course," Balthier shot back, "but most of us have more brainpower than a chocobo."

"What was that?" Vaan growled, shifting his katana in its sheath.

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all," Balthier replied. "Very well, Vaan, do what you want. If you'll excuse me, I have other business to attend to."

"Like what?" asked Penelo, who, along with the rest of the group, had been silent up to now.

"Like finding a shovel," Balthier said, his voice trailing off as he walked away. "After all, if Vaan decides to touch that sword, I'll likely have to dig at least one grave…"

Vaan glared at the sky pirate as he walked off, but soon forgot his anger, which was replaced with curiosity as he turned back to the sword. It couldn't possibly be as bad as Balthier said. After all, if it was, why would Gilgamesh have been after it? Smirking, thinking of how he would taunt Balthier when he got back, Vaan grasped the hilt of the sword and effortlessly lifted it into a combat stance.

_Wow,_ thought Vaan, _and I didn't have to spend a single license point. Anyway, now that I know the sword's not dangerous (Ha! Stupid Balthier!), I should probably see if it has any abilities. Let's see, I probably have to say something…_

Trying to look imposing, Vaan lifted the sword over his head and tried to say something epic.

"O mighty sword of legend, show me your power!"

Vaan brought the sword back down to eye level, and was immediately disappointed to see that nothing had happened to the sword, except that it was now a little less dusty from being swung around. Irritated, but not losing heart, Vaan decided to try again.

"Ahem… Come forth, o spirit of the blade!" Vaan thrust the point of the sword into the ground.

Insane rage flooded his face when he saw that nothing was happening to the sword. It wasn't glowing, or on fire, and if there was anything different about it, it was that the sword now seemed to be mocking him.

Losing all control, Vaan started to bang the sword on the ground. Basch, who had been silent the entire time, started backing away, moving closer to the exit and finally running out of the room. Fran, Ashe, and Penelo moved closer to Vaan, hoping to snap him out of his rage

Vaan didn't notice his companion's reactions. His thoughts were focused entirely on the horrible, cruel, mocking sword in his hands.

"Stupid sword! WORK!" he yelled, slamming the sword into the ground with more force than ever before. Fran, Ashe, and Penelo, realizing what was about to happen, began backing away as fast as possible, but it was too late.

Brilliant light flooded the room.

Confident that his point had been made, Balthier walked back through the mines. None of the monsters bothered him; they had all decided to hide from whatever had made that terrible shout (Vaan, he assumed). He was halfway through the mines when he was suddenly grabbed and dragged back the way he had come.

"Stop dragging me!" he told Basch. "And why are you in such a hurry, anyway?"

"We have to get to the Strahl," Basch said, his voice nearly choked with horror.

"So, Vaan touched the sword," Balthier guessed aloud. "What happened?"

"You don't want to know," replied Basch, still running for the exit. "Let's just say that if we don't hurry, the hunters at Phon Coast will be eating roast chocobo for their next meal."

Chuckling ever so slightly, Balthier ran.

Well, hope someone found that funny. At the moment this is just a oneshot, but if anyone likes it, let me know. I might add some more (not necessarily related) stories on to this one. Anyway, hope you liked it! Please review! Constructive criticism would be welcome. No flames, please.

Also, I would like to apologize to anyone who feels I have bashed Vaan, Balthier, or anyone else. It certainly wasn't intended.


End file.
